Americans are at peace.

I saw on TV while exercising in Gym a "seemingly" serious debate. After paying attention to the content of debate for 5 minutes, I realized it was "Sex and City".

It talked about why American Women like to go see "Sex and City". Responding to the host's question: "Whether majority of American women are as shallow as those four, i.e, focusing on expensive shoes, clothes and sex.  I don't think so. What do you think?" The female guest seemed to be making a self-contradictory explanation: "No, the majority of American women are not like them. They are not as shallow. but they do go to the theater to find themselves in the movies.." So the host challenged her by saying: "Do you agree with me, or not?" She became speechless.

She was not prepared for this. The truth of matter is, regardless of lifestyle, we women all went through search of love. We were puzzled, hurt by relationships, so we always talked about it in our get-togethers. Plus, by nature, we tend to love fashion more or less. We could find a piece of ourselves in them, even though majority of us won't sleep around like those four women in movies and a lot of men do. But the soul-search part is the common developmental part in our youth.

On top of that, the good clothes, great settings and outings with girl-friends are big part of our fantasy world. Like video games to guys, that movie may give us an hour or two to find real girl somewhere, far from laundries, errands, money problems...or that.

Am I going? Good question.

Like mentioned in earlier blog, people in Iowa seem to be very average---lot of them are overweight and dress like farmers, Like fashion is not a word in their dictionary.

However they have the most genuine smiles on their faces which makes you feel so warm. Yeah, the word, warm!

One example to prove the genuine is that when I approached the door to the restaurant, a guy shouted from my behind: "wait!" He ran over to open the door for me and gave me that big SMILE! Then he left.

Another example is in the Gym of the hotel. This guy, with his son, was exercising and a basket ball game was showing on TV. I asked " Are you watching it? ' "Yes, he replied. " "oh, Okay. " I continued my running on the treadmill. In a few minutes, they were ready to leave. Before they left, the father handed me the remote control, with that thing---the smile!

This is awesome! This is what makes life more joyful.

10 minutes after I changed my screen name to "Vacation in Iowa" a couple of friends asked me already "Vacation, Iowa? How do the two words go together?"

Well, no, they don't,  in general sense. So it is vacation of my own version.

Vacation Day 1, have my computer, books and tea set up around "lazy boy", I started reading the chapter "Real Property". Is this French or English? I can't believe how many words I have to look into dictionary for. It is tough. I have the reader's block. Now I realize how brave I am to, after 18 years of working, stopped for 9 months or even longer to study all alone. I feel so left out....

So I feel tired, or bored. something like that. I started to go through my phone book list to see who I can call to chat. You know, it turns out that is the way for me to review who my real friends are---Those who I can think of calling and won't get cold shoulder are for sure my friends.

One of my friends got it right, we are social animals. We can have tens of money, great cars. Without friends to share with, without a good family, we can't be happy no matter what.

Chatting with my friends gave me comfort on Vacation Day I.

Alex has a lot of work to do in American Heartland--Nebraska, Iowa and Illinoi. He won't be home for 3 weeks. Having stayed home for 3 weeks, it didn't take me much to say yes to his invitation to tag along. Why not? I can't see him flying home every weekend and fly back out again on Monday. If you have ever traveled in USA, you would know how much it takes to fly to one place.

Well, did I say I stayed home for 3 weeks before I came out? I lost my sense of humor, that's for sure.

At the time I walked into the aircraft, I heard this dialogue, passenger: " does this go to Nashiville?" the stewardess  "yeah, why not? You mean Omaha, right? " passenger "yeah" they both have grinned on the face, I believe I had one also.

passenger B "how long does this take?" the stewardess "12 hours, or 2 hours. "

Then the stewardess announced on the PA: "Dear all, if your destination is not Omaha Nebraska, it is now!"

We all smiled. It is a good start of the day, that's for sure.

Then we got to our destination. After we settled, we went to the restaurant. As I approached to the door, this one guy, running from far away and said: "wait..." he opened the door for me and walked away!

He came just to open a door for a lady!

People here are so average Joe. Mostly overweight, dress extremely casually,  but they all have this beautiful smiles on the face. They are warm!

It's so strange, in Florida, the weather is hot but people are cold and distant from one another.

This is my first observation on my first day of my vacation.

A good start.

I have to admit I have fear for loneliness. Not exactly I can't handle being physically alone, I can't handle eat alone, work alone  and do everything alone.

I chose to stay home for as long as the bar exam will take me. If I can pass the first time, 9 months, if I can pass the second time, 14 months and more...

Strangely enough, my motivation to push me to get out of bed at 6 am in the morning is the fear for being lonely and trapped in the house for too long.

My Friend Linchun is so different from me. She is 9 years younger than me. She loves shopping for shoes, she loves to be loved as a princess like in fairy tales.  She sees the world a lot of times from the perspective of romance.

Linchun and I are so much alike for the fact we all enjoy great people. She came to Florida to work and ended up being like a glue to me. Hey, I loved it.
When she went back to D.C, she hosted friends, she let friends (including me) choose whatever to wear in her closet...She took all my family all around the town and paid

Linchun is a lot better than me in the skills of listening. Gee, she listened with her whole heart! and she confessed to me that she genuinely wanted to know all about it. I remember one day as I spoke with her on the phone, I screamed for my dead flowers, she even remembered to ask about them the second time we talk! She truly pays attention to people! How generous she is!

"Life is a journey, don't forget to stop and smell the roses. " Linchun is one of the most precious roses in my life.

Work changes but good friends won't. I am blessed with you in my life, Linchun.

Jianglin is not the prettiest girl.

After a long long time, I received a call from her to ask if my parents are okay during the earthquake. She was quick: "Are they okay? Thanks God. My life is getting much better. I moved, I have a job where I learned a lot. " From there, she started to tell me what excited her so much about her job. I didn't get to say a thing but I was so happy.

She is absolutely a thinking out loud person, so natural. What she likes, what she doesn't like...She just lays them all out. What I see is what I get. I will never forget that as frugal as she is by nature, especially in a new country where she had no job but a son to raise, she didn't even buy a bicycle...but she spent 3 dollars to buy a scarf for me. She insisted to buy me a meal even she didn't know how to use a credit card...

She is such a naturally kind person, a person who doesn't tune in with people before speaking, a person who doesn't lie to fit in, of course not a person who has vicious thought against any one ( I know coz I heard her thoughts in years of interaction, like most people do. )

No wonder she can easily find a job coz people like her! Inner beings of most people are crying out to show themselves but only Jianglin dares to.

She is so pretty in personality. Go for it, Jianglin

忘不掉当年傻傻地爱着那个男友的感觉。四年下来，被他忽冷忽热的态度，那故做深沉（很后来才懂那是拿的架子）的样子，一会儿浪漫至及，一会儿又消失得无影无踪。唯一不做的是就是对我坦诚以待。猜了他四年以后，我终于累了，我放弃了。

在我最脆弱的时候，平平一直平平静静地待在我身边， 尤其是当我失去了工作，（那时我们没钱，住在公司的公寓里。 失去了工作就失去了住处。第一代的月光族，我们还没积蓄。 ） 住在工棚里。 他是唯一帮我抬东西的朋友。我的男友？不知道去了哪里。 当然其他的我不敢喊。“穷在闹市无人问，富在远山有远亲。”这，我懂。

他就这们陪着我。 我实在受不了爱情的痛，决定搬回成都重新开始。 他流泪了。 我吓了一跳。 回到成都后，失恋的痛苦让我卧床了三个月。 还是他，时时打电话来问。 突然有一天，我想起了这句话：“众里寻他千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊处。”是啊，我在等什么？女人不就是要有人爱吗？女人不就是要一个能守着自己，不论失意或顺利吗？我再等一个一旦被爱了，就不知道天高地厚的男人吗？我再等一个自己不是什么料，还觉得下一个永远是最好的吗？

我把他从深圳叫回了成都。 他就这们守着我。在我身边默默地追求他自己的事业，没有二想。

到了美国后，平平在国内等手续，一等就等了六年。他还是那样可靠。说做什么就做什么。

到了美国后，我还是待人真诚。但又遇到了一些自以为是的人，把我的好心当牛肝肺。 常常伤感。平平来后，我还是花了很多时间为没心没肺的伤心。 慢慢地，才发觉自己最想要的最真贵的东西就在身边。周围的人来人往，就想老话说的：“天要下雨，娘要改嫁， 由不得我。” 伤感生活中少有中情谊，靠得住的人。 但忘了身边的人不就是吗？

看来，刘晓庆再多不是，有句话却是说对了：“婚姻就想是一双鞋。 舒服不舒服只有自己知道。”而很多事就是““众里寻他千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊处。”

My friend Kevin is a person I don't see in years, a person who travels everywhere and is constantly far...a person for years I have talked with at least once a week not because I have to but because I want to. In another word, Kevin is a friend physically far far away, but by heart, closest.

Kevin is a kind of friend who you will miss a lot in years after, if God forbid, you lose him as a friend. Kevin is so sincere, honest, hardworking, patient and consistently warm. Kevin is like my backyard where I can always get peace, sense of belonging. Kevin has virtures, talents I admire, attention I enjoy and honesty I feel so comfortable to exchange the same thing with.

I change my work from time to time, but every time after the change, Kevin is still there. He is my friend. I am proud for having him as my friend!

I am proud to have Kevin as my extended family. Thank you for being you, Kevin!

Friendship can be so fragile?

I have this friend of mine whom I went through hard time together with. Her life is never easy yet she is very daring. I admire her courage and am more than happy to talk to her whenever she needs to vent.

Of course, she did the same thing for me and helped me with some confusions. So we became two close friends for strength and comfort.

All in a sudden, things start to go down drain. One day she asked me to help her with a set of video surveillance system and arrange an installation in exchange for service. My equipments have a lot of defects and I didn't want her to be mad thinking I gave her bad stuff. As far as service goes, I can't install, and the guy I know who can install won't accept payment in the form of massage. 

This obviously upset her.  I couldn't explain to her because she dropped the phone. A few days later, I explained by message, by email. yet she still didn't seem to believe what I said and seems to stop trusting me. 

Right now,  our daily communication is over.  She doesn't have many friends, yet it looks like she would rather have one less.

I feel bad. It is hard enough to have someone to share the same value in this country, it is even harder to keep them around. People, why can't we give people credit of doubts or accept them as a whole package? Just don't toss the baby with dirty water.