Too nice for your own good?

On the past Sunday, I went to Book-A-Million, a bookstore in Sawgrass Mall and this book with the title of “Too nice for your own good” caught my eyes.

It started since my childhood when I tried as hard as I could to seek approval and acceptance from my parents, but my brother got almost all the attention and appraisal from them. Even after I grew up, out of my warm nature, I religiously called my parents every week from USA, my parents always ask about my brother who lives with me and calls them way less frequently than I did. But why?

More similar stories happened later in my life as well. I started to realize that nice people give too much too soon and ended up hurting themselves. Some people even told me that sometimes we gave our heart to others, they think it smells. I can’t help wondering that we were taught that love will bring ultimate joy in life but why more than often people respond our kindness with cruelness and ignorance. Ironically, we nice people don’t usually treat people who love us with all the heart with all our attentions.

Then I figured, on the flip side, it may not be the person who doesn’t know it is a good thing. Mostly too much caring for them is a burdern and they have no clue how to give back anyways.  People don’t need anything until they need and ask for it. If we give too much too soon, we are doomed to be taken for granted as “these guys just have too much time to kill” or as “they are rocks for us to step over”.

Hence, I strongly believe now the ultimate efficient love is to be there for others. If anybody needs anything, they ask for it, we will give help that really works. For most part of our lives, we just sit back to take care our own physical, spiritual and mental health.

Yeah, even loves needs strategy.